Oh Weather God we needed you here. What a drenching.
The Scottish Hall of Fame - A short list you might think but not so. Think of::
Will came from behind (Ed - really - you want to say this?) to make a hell of a mess (Ed - stop - we’ll be sued) of the end of season Titans leaderboard. But more of that later. Over to our on course reporters:
- Robert the Bruce
- Robert Carlyle
- Wee Jimmy Krankie
- Rab C Nesbitt
- Kenny Dalgleish (and all of the Lisbon Lions - no Rangers representation yet on this list)
- Billy Connolly
- Old Tom Morris
- Colin Montgomery
- Will Smith (no not that one).
Will came from behind (Ed - really - you want to say this?) to make a hell of a mess (Ed - stop - we’ll be sued) of the end of season Titans leaderboard. But more of that later. Over to our on course reporters:
Like Will, Kinga also did the double, winning the final event and becoming 2018 tour champion.
The Prez’s purple army turned up in PrezForce1 (the presidential charabanc) at the ‘Temple of Gloom’ (grey skies and lots of H2O) to compete at the final event of the 2018 tour (Ray Kalnins memorial). It was so bad that Temple members had wisely decided Sunday was a day for ducks , and had stayed clear . Titans had Temple golf course to themselves. For many it was the ‘Temple of Doom’ but for the two champions (Oor Willie and Kinga) it was the ‘Temple of Bloom’. The weather was atrocious (unlike the Titans at the Station who were just stocious).
An IOC review suggested the first group could consider a halt at the 12th (nearest to the clubhouse). By the second hole most people were wet through and some were considering a call-off. However the Titans battled through and completed 18 holes.
Oor Willies (aka Deep Fried Mars Bar) superb round (32pts off a 6 hcap) ensured he leapfrogged Fu Man Kew and Motty to take the 2018 Men’s Tour as well as the Kalnins trophy . It was nearly a perfect day for Willie as he also won the Money Hole (£40), NP2 and the LD (0-13 hcap). He also had his name on the NP hole for a while, but was pipped to this prize by our newest Titan (Paul) thus just missing out on Vidars treasure and the £100 prize.
Congratulations to Kinga who came first and won the LD in the Ladies competition. Rita came in 2nd and also got NP. Linda came in 3rd. And Kinga also won the overall Ladies 2019 championship (with Rita in 2nd and Nina in 3rd)
The noisiest 4ball on the course was Pork Pie, Dusty Bin, The Judge and VP. The craic was second to none with The Judges laugh and the numerous shots of FORE! from Middlesborough’s Pork Pie resounding around the course. Pork Pies offer to ‘spank The Judge’ if she went into the woods was incentive enough as she kept her ball ‘out of trouble’ for the entire round and carded a very good score.
VP made it three ‘victories’ in a row by pipping YouSA on countback and claimed the ‘xmas dinner family bragging rites’.
The start sheet caused much confusion and hilarity as not everyone knew who they were playing with nor in some cases what their own name was. Deep Fried Mars Bar was a struggle for most who hadn't strayed to the Northernmost parts of the UK. Dusty Bin needed some translation for those who didn't have grandchildren or a mental age below the teens. Pork Pie only became obvious to those not 'in the know' at presentation time when a 10' diameter pie was loaded by crane onto the presentation table.
Some other observations
Mike Rubber returned to the fray with an amazing 27 points off a handicap of 1 and not having played 'for years'
Tod, wearing a USA Bryce de Chambeau style golf hat, was just delighted to have survived
Captain Keith was delighted to pass on the Captain's prize - a very questionable bottle of Chinese 'hooch' (54° proof) to Sam
A superb dinner of roast beef and pork plus all the trimmings was had and a little wine was added to the mix
It is normal for this end of season celebration to include Suitable barracking of the Prez and this was provided by his good lady and Skeletor (aka The Grim Reaper aka some othe bloke called Michael )
Will was reported to be worried about how to clean his winnings as Annabel is refusing the polishing duties
It was also announced that Will would be giving up his Tour Director role (presumably to concentrate upon his professional golf career) and will be replaced by Peter Doherty which makes it three Ulstermen on the IOC. There are reports coming in that Pete is seeking high level sponsorship for the 2019 tour. Guinness have said no but apparently there is a big offer on the table for it to be titled as the "Powerful Paddy Tour" not to be confused with the Paddy Power tour of course. There are also unsubstantiated rumours that it could be known as the "Grassy Knoll Tour" perhaps indicating the high levels of support that VP has built up in his endless quest to become Prez.
An IOC review suggested the first group could consider a halt at the 12th (nearest to the clubhouse). By the second hole most people were wet through and some were considering a call-off. However the Titans battled through and completed 18 holes.
Oor Willies (aka Deep Fried Mars Bar) superb round (32pts off a 6 hcap) ensured he leapfrogged Fu Man Kew and Motty to take the 2018 Men’s Tour as well as the Kalnins trophy . It was nearly a perfect day for Willie as he also won the Money Hole (£40), NP2 and the LD (0-13 hcap). He also had his name on the NP hole for a while, but was pipped to this prize by our newest Titan (Paul) thus just missing out on Vidars treasure and the £100 prize.
Congratulations to Kinga who came first and won the LD in the Ladies competition. Rita came in 2nd and also got NP. Linda came in 3rd. And Kinga also won the overall Ladies 2019 championship (with Rita in 2nd and Nina in 3rd)
The noisiest 4ball on the course was Pork Pie, Dusty Bin, The Judge and VP. The craic was second to none with The Judges laugh and the numerous shots of FORE! from Middlesborough’s Pork Pie resounding around the course. Pork Pies offer to ‘spank The Judge’ if she went into the woods was incentive enough as she kept her ball ‘out of trouble’ for the entire round and carded a very good score.
VP made it three ‘victories’ in a row by pipping YouSA on countback and claimed the ‘xmas dinner family bragging rites’.
The start sheet caused much confusion and hilarity as not everyone knew who they were playing with nor in some cases what their own name was. Deep Fried Mars Bar was a struggle for most who hadn't strayed to the Northernmost parts of the UK. Dusty Bin needed some translation for those who didn't have grandchildren or a mental age below the teens. Pork Pie only became obvious to those not 'in the know' at presentation time when a 10' diameter pie was loaded by crane onto the presentation table.
Some other observations
Mike Rubber returned to the fray with an amazing 27 points off a handicap of 1 and not having played 'for years'
Tod, wearing a USA Bryce de Chambeau style golf hat, was just delighted to have survived
Captain Keith was delighted to pass on the Captain's prize - a very questionable bottle of Chinese 'hooch' (54° proof) to Sam
A superb dinner of roast beef and pork plus all the trimmings was had and a little wine was added to the mix
It is normal for this end of season celebration to include Suitable barracking of the Prez and this was provided by his good lady and Skeletor (aka The Grim Reaper aka some othe bloke called Michael )
Will was reported to be worried about how to clean his winnings as Annabel is refusing the polishing duties
It was also announced that Will would be giving up his Tour Director role (presumably to concentrate upon his professional golf career) and will be replaced by Peter Doherty which makes it three Ulstermen on the IOC. There are reports coming in that Pete is seeking high level sponsorship for the 2019 tour. Guinness have said no but apparently there is a big offer on the table for it to be titled as the "Powerful Paddy Tour" not to be confused with the Paddy Power tour of course. There are also unsubstantiated rumours that it could be known as the "Grassy Knoll Tour" perhaps indicating the high levels of support that VP has built up in his endless quest to become Prez.
Sam wins a bottle of dual function Chinese Moonshine. Use 1 is to blow your mind. Use 2 is to blow the roof off.
Oor Willie invested his £40 winnings on several bottles of wine for the bus trip back to Chiswick. The ‘rowdies (VP, Jags, Will, Phil, YouSA and Pete) at the back of the bus’ ensured they were empty upon arrival at Chiswick. Phils hipflask also got emptied..Its a thirsty game this golf! Celebrations continued into the wee hours at the Station House in Chiswick.
The Temple Bacon buttys were excellent - 9/10 was the common view.
Bring on 2019!
The Temple Bacon buttys were excellent - 9/10 was the common view.
Bring on 2019!
Mike demonstrates the new Titans Pez Dispenser. This is the YouSA Tod variant which is expected to do well in ....... the USA of course.
As a stroppy New Yorker once said - “You have gotta be joking”. Mark - take a bow.
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