Scottish Wizard Stoops to conquer

It was windy and cold at Hoebridge today but the course played magnificently well. There was muttering in the Titans ranks as yet another Titan (James McIntyre) shot 40 points to win. The handicapper was asked to commit Hari Kari but gently declined. 

Captain America congratulates James "Krankie" McIntyre

But the Titans Talker can exclusively reveal how the Titans Jimmy Frankie lookalike did it when all other Titans were faltering in the wind.  Just think about Woosie winning the Masters, or GMac (not the Titan) winning at windy Pebble Beach. Titans motormouth Holland shouted out the answer during a post match awards ceremony and We can now reveal how he did it. Canny James just kept kitting the ball into low lying parts of the course and a combination of short stature and tall hills meant that the hurricane winds just blew over him leaving his shots unaffected!

This wind trick was also spotted at Wycombe Heights. Wind tunnel tests have revealed that this wind vortex flowing over his body has the unfortunate effect of diverting golf ball towards him.

In Second place was cunning Sam Dunkley who has been coached in the fine arts of handicap protection by the expert at this - Phil Schick.  So Sam picks up his usual wedge of money and protects his handicap again. Pat Carr shot a brilliant 32 points and shot some angry daggers at VP Lee for his awesome NP2 selection!

Angry VP Lee shouts down the Prez who criticised his NP2 selection. Manny wets himself!

The master money grabber Schick misjudged his usual last three hole collapse to protect his handicap by inadvertently collapsing at the 11th! But he still managed to beat Will Smith into 5th. VP Lee consoled himself with 6th place knowing now that he will never be president until he selects a NP2 that the Prez can reach in two - look out for a 130 yard NP2 anytime soon.  Needless to say no-one won NP2 and no-one could get on the money hole either! 

Pat Carr got NP, Matt Bassano LD (18+) and VP Lee won the LD (1-17) with a humungous drive despite taking a 8 foot divot!

Huge Divot taken by VP Lee. Matt Dawes has accepted that his title has now passed to Divot Lee.

And Finally - the Titans Rashometer

The Prez put it this way - "Hoebridge boasts a great course with super greens and nice hospitality, unfortunately the same can't be said for their bacon rolls. The bread was hard and  tasteless, the bacon was not in abundance and could have done with a bit more cooking time. Titans expect more before a match. It put the prez right off his stroke.
1/10"
Prez does not know that the Merrist Wood "Dusty Miller" was actually worse so the score has been moderated to a disappointing 3/10. Proof comes from the multiple unfinished butties that littered the table.

Doherty not impressed with the Bacon butty. Come on Hoebridge - everything else was brilliant - sort this out.