The Moanmeister receiving his ‘Tight Fitting’ Warrior Helmet from The VP – is that an emotional tear in his eye or the fact that it was has pushed it down to far and shaved his forehead!
Eleven Titans turned up at a Mediterreanesque Milford to do battle for the honour of receiving the Warrior Helmet and a T$500,000 pay day. The course was in great condition and the greens fast and true (a massive 15 on the Apprentice Moanstintmeter!). The glorious Surrey heat was intense at times and the Ambre Solaire (factor 15) ‘spay on only’ service was offered by 7-iron and greatly accepted in his 4-ball. Nb. There may be an additional charge if 7-iron offers a ‘spray and rub’ service!!
Phil ‘Taffy’ Schick presided over a joyous award ceremony as the Titans replenished their dehydration and salt loss with copious amounts of lager/extra cold Guinness, crisps and a traditional a pot of Earl Grey tea (leaf only, no tea bag of course) for Mr Steady.
Taffy presented a very interesting stat which may sway the IOC to reintroduce the ‘Old Coot’ prize.
Interesting stat: There was a 28 point difference between the winner (Moanmeister (37pts)) and the unfortunate – never to be named Titan who only scored 9 pts (I can confirm, as head Marshall, that there was no evidence that any of the 11 starters wore a blindfold or were restrained by a straightjacket!!!!)
Now, if it wasn’t one of the top 6 below or 7thplaced Don T Locktrumpard (27pts) or 7-Iron & The Lord (20pts), then the unfortunate one must be one of the following two: Taffy or Jamesy who both left rather quickly!!!! I suspect we will never know!!
Top 6 placings
1/ The Moanmeister 37pts
2/ Mr Steady 33pts
3/ The VP 32pts
4/ Alex ‘Ed’ Pointon 31pts
5/ The Apprentice Moanmeister - Charles 31pts
6/ Cookie Munchkin 29pts (20 on the back 9!)
Mini Comps and Sponsored Holes
NP – Don T Locktrumpard
Money Hole - GBP20 (NP 17th) – Cookie Munchkin
NP2 (16th)– Alex ‘Ed’ Pointon
LD (11th) – Elite Handicaps – Moanmeister
LD (11th) – Slapper Handicaps - Charles, The Apprentice Moanmeister
Captains Prize 12th NP – Charles, The Apprentice Moanmeister
VP,s NP3 prize 18th – No One so prize carried over to Pineridge
Bacon Roll
A traditional typical and homely British bacon roll satisfied the Titans before they did battle in the soaring heat of Milford. Unfortunately for several of the Titans the bacon roll ‘had hardened’ and was cold as they arrived late due to the M3(closure)/M25&A3 congestion. However, positive feedback was generally received and a score of 7/10 was awarded. The unheated bun, was coated with a fine dusting of flour and contained three perfectly cooked rashers each with the ‘golden ratio’ of pork meat to fat. A smidgen of light unsalted butter all washed down with a fine blend of coffee left the Apprentice Moanmeister speechless (for a change) and gave the eager Titans the perfect start before the battle for points and the Warrior Helmet commenced. Score 7/10
A traditional typical and homely British bacon roll satisfied the Titans before they did battle in the soaring heat of Milford. Unfortunately for several of the Titans the bacon roll ‘had hardened’ and was cold as they arrived late due to the M3(closure)/M25&A3 congestion. However, positive feedback was generally received and a score of 7/10 was awarded. The unheated bun, was coated with a fine dusting of flour and contained three perfectly cooked rashers each with the ‘golden ratio’ of pork meat to fat. A smidgen of light unsalted butter all washed down with a fine blend of coffee left the Apprentice Moanmeister speechless (for a change) and gave the eager Titans the perfect start before the battle for points and the Warrior Helmet commenced. Score 7/10
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