Fu Man Kew makes Titans history. Who invited Kim Jong-un?

Captain Fu Man Kew wins his own prize and helps the Nordic Titans understand new cultures.

What a treat our 2018 Captain – Fu Man Kew, delivered to Kim’s purple army, at a beautiful Badgemore today. No excuse for bad golf as the near windless conditions, with a sun, which rose from the Orient (not Leyton!) and brightly shone on the sun drenched Titans. However, narrow fairways and fast greens challenged Kim and his army. Not one Titan made it into the 30’s but the 2018 Captain Fu Man Kew showed his ‘crouching tiger, hidden dragon’ prowess to win (29 pts off 9) on his special day. Kill Will vol2 (28 pts off 6) pipped Bruce (off 9) on countback to finish second and will receive another handicap cut prior to Temple next week. A relieved Bruce, sipping on his Guinness, thanked the Golf Gods for coming 3rd.
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Kim can afford weapons of mass destruction but eye surgery needs to come down in price a little.

The Captain also laid on a fantastic array of prizes and surprises. Biggest surprise was the quality of his balls (little round yellow things with e-moji symbols on them (Ed - I know that this blog is very un-PC but this is taking it too far?). So impressed were the Titans that most  made sure to lose them on the first hole. But try as they might some Titans just could not lose the bloody things. Triad Tod survived until his drive on the 18th but Hong Kong Phooey retained his the way to the end - as did Chow Mien Chadwick. This required a very dodgy toss of the coin to decide the winner of the "Ball Retention" prize. The winner was Hong Kong Phooey who adorned the winners headcap prize. Special mention to one Titan (Charlie Chan) who lost his yellow ball on the practice green/chipping area prior to the 1st tee. Tactical move possibly as numerous moans could be heard around the course when attempting to find their balls in golden sunshine and yellow leaves on the ground. Won Ton lost his on the first and intimated the yellow ball move was strategic to unsettle the Western players!

Will - Leader of the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad (and part time Nordic God)

​​But the Titans found it hard to score at Badgemore so it was quite a surprise  that Grasshopper Graham upset all in the first group out by chipping in from 90 yards on the Par 5 second for a real birdie and 4 points. What was not a surprise was that he then had blobs on the next three holes!

Two Jui Jitsus was delighted with his Magni win

​Another surprise was that one of the low handicappers, Two Jiu Jitsus won the honour of Magni, which was much to the relief of Charlie Chan and Hong Kong Phooey who both had c**p rounds - ie 'did not play so well'  It was certainly a comfort also to  Won Ton Wren who was heard muttering that he wouldn't be allowed in the house if he returned with it for a third round on the trot.

Caption Competition - why is Hong Kong Phooey showing such deference to Fu Man Kew?

This was the penultimate game of the year and is definitely squeaky bum time at the top with many players in contention for the top prize. this is inspiring some competitive behaviour - Kung Fu Panda Pete has been accused of harassing Triad Tod through Whats App. He is alleged to be trying to put the pressure on as they are very close on the money list. This backfired somewhat as Tod jumped ahead of Pete in the rankings. However by concentrating on their own battle they failed to notice that  two other players had leapfrogged them. 

What is amazing is that there are 8 players within a million dollars of each other at the head of the table. Temple is going to be a major battle.

VP Lee came up with a brilliant start sheet for the day and it deserves to be repeated here - if only to understand the blog!
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Bruce Lee: VP
Fu man Kew: Captain Keith
The Emperor: The Prez
Grasshopper: Graham
Hong Kong Phooey: Phil
Kill Will vol 2: Will
Triad: Tod
Won Ton: Wren
Two Jui Jitsus: Jags
Feng Shui Fish: Jim
Charlie Chan: Charles
Kung Fu Panda: Pete
Karate Kid: Keith the Elder
Chow Mein Chadwick: Ben
Dim Sum Delo: Paul
Spring Roll: Rob
Taekwondo Thompson: Nigel
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Competitions:
Warrior Helmet: Fu Man Kew (29)
2nd Kill Will vol2 (28)
3rd Bruce Lee (28)
4th Feng Shui Fish (27)
5th Kung Fu Panda (27)
6th Triad (26)
Magni: 2 Jui Jitsus
NP: Triad
££: No one, carried over to Temple (£40)
LD 0-13 Kill Will vol2
LD 14+  Kung Fu Panda
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Guest prizes
Overall Winner: Chow Mein: 32pts
Guest Par 3s: 4th Chow Mein & 13th Dim Dum
Guest LD: Taekwondo


Bacon Mantou 8/10
A toasted bun, slightly on the hard side, with 2 rashers of succulent bacon was given an 8/10 award by Fu Man Kew.