Our esteemed Titans Captain for 2019 laid on a smorgasbord of Scottish prizes for the greedy purple horde with whiskey galore (great film), hip flasks and even some shortbread for the MAGNI winner. A magnificent Captain, magnificent player and of course a magnificent Titan. And for his Captains Day he aimed to make it as inclusive as possible - inviting along the the best of the Lady Titans and a complete hotch-potch of male Titans "Talent" - including a fair selection of criminals, drunks, and even a couple of aliens!

Hazlemere Golf Course proved to be a tricky golf course with continual elevation changes and the wind making some holes pretty much unplayable - think Par 5's where you have played 3 shots and still have 100yds to the hole  (Ed - Stop whinging about your own inadequacies and get on with the unbiased journalism)

So in the interests of unbiased journalism - journeyman McErlean was cruelly pushed into 5th place on count back by Men's Tour Leader Chadwick (Ed - I told you to stop it). Rob was third with 29pts and Richard got his best ever result by coming 2nd with 30pts. But the mens champ on the day was Gary Toal who was playing his first round as a fully fledged Titan. Naturally before the game Gary was keen to know what his new handicap would be and expressed surprise when he learned that it would be 18. 18 holes later the Titans handicapper realised (too late) that Gary was surprised that the handicap was so generous!! No - It was an absolute masterclass of strong driving off the tee, some glorious recoveries after the occasional fluffed shot, and critically no blobs. 38pts on such a testing course was a great performance and a deserved win.

Hylton won the guest prize and Ben won the LD (<16), and NP2. Tail-end Greg won LD (>16) with a 6 iron off the tee after no-one else had hit the fairway. (Ed - shame on you). Paul won the ££.   And who won the shortbread?  Well that was Nigel who also won the use of Magni in the next game which could be very good planning on his part as next up is the Super Titans.

​Finally on the mens side - a special mention must go to James who thought that he had won the LD with a great effort on the 7th. However the Captain had neglected to put out the markers on this hole and had moved the competition to the 14th!

The ladies also had fun on the course but there was even more fun to be had in the awards giving. Fay announced that the winner probably didn't even realise that  they had a winning score because of some scorecard errors. Who would this confused winner be? When Annabelle was announced as the winner nobody was surprised as she will surely be  one of the first players to enter the planned Titans Hall of Fame (Allegedly this will be housed in a shed somewhere in Brentford). But as she came to accept the trophy she vehemently denied that she could have won. After a feverish recalculation of scores the winner was announced by Fay as - FAY!! Brilliant stuff. She was indeed surprised!

​Thanks again goes to the 2019 Captain Will Smith for a very enjoyable Captains Day.

Our glorious 2019 Captain, King William Jock McJockyWilsonface, has set a wonderful venue for the Titans Highland Games and Captains day. Join him and other golfing greats at Hazlemere Golf Club this Sunday. Thanks to VP for the entertaining start sheet!
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Fun and games at the wonderful new addition to the champions tour - Flackwell Heath. The Titans gorged themselves on a very filling lunch before tackling the peaks and valleys of this attractive and quite hilly course. Dominating the course were two players who posted impressive scores of 34pts. But it was Ben Chadwick who snatched first place from Pete "I'm going to win today" Doherty on count back following a birdie-tactic display of power golf which also included a long drive winning shot described by some as a moonshot (Ed - that's total distance travelled - not "one small step").

But why has the IOC sacked the chief handicapper / hatchet man McErlean?  Well this is because of the IOC's manifesto promise (Ed - that suggests that it is not a dictatorship?)  that the IOC "will be tough on high stableford scores and the causes of high stableford scores". HandiHacketman McErlean defended himself in the post-match IOC Kangaroo court by claiming that "He only shot 34pts" but this was not accepted by the right wing of the IOC and his defence fell on deaf (Ed - death???) ears. 

And sources have also disclosed that a further "Chadwick Amendment"​ was proposed to the IOC whereby in future anyone winning 4 events in their debut season would be required to play their following game in just the purple shirt whilst wearing Magni to cover their modesty. The proposal was defeated when it was claimed that this might impinge upon Magni's basic human rights.

And in other Magni news, "jelly legs" Embleton further embellished the classic hero-to-zero story by becoming the latest person to be first one week and last in the following week. Commiserations Keith but at least you won a LD prize.

Will won NP, Phil won NP2,  and Greg won the ££.

We are about to enter the final third of the Champions Tour season and it is incredibly tight at the top. 36 players have taken part so far and have won over 31m Titans dollars but yet it is incredibly tight at the top with 5 players separated by only 435k. The mighty 5 are headed by Flackwell champ Chadwick. In second place lies the Prez who has already claimed that deliberate tour date manipulation has forced him to choose between his relationship and his golfing career. Boo Hoo big man. Currently in third place is surprise package Doherty who is continuing the long tradition of Ulster men at the head of the table (think of him as replacing ex-champ Lee rather than journeyman McErlean). In fourth place is Tod Diehard Jr who has an impressive haul  this season and is hunting down a second champions tour title. In fifth place is Keith Embleton who  has already surpassed his 2018 total.  

​These are the front runners but with three majors in the closing phases it is still possible for others to reach the top.