By the Vice Titans Talker (and some others)  Thanks - Ed.

What a day for headlines….and the BBCs gloomy forecast for Pyrford did not materialise! Good thing as there was enough water hazards on the course to relieve the purple army of their balls (Take a bow Wren Mott - reached double figures). Talking about balls, it was revealed that one of the Titans (37pts today) shaves his when he thinks it’s going to rain. Swing improvement and aerodynamics was mentioned but possibly the main reason was to reduce ‘frizzyness’ down below!

The beloved Prez scores 40pts (of his new 16 handicap) to secure back to back Titan tour victories. As the result was read out a deathly silence descended, a lone tumbleweed rolled past, the Prez’s sunkissed chops got redder, the muttering of disbelief ceased as the Prez made his way to be enthroned for the second time on two weeks. Me knees, me knees, its me knees rang out as he sat down to be annointed by the Captain. The odds of the Prez repeating this stellar performance at tricky Harleyford have lengthened considerably with the news that the overnight handicap adjustment actually caused the Titans Super Computer to massively overheat as it contemplated cutting the Prez by 2.5 shots to 13.3!!  One big consolation is that his trio of wins this year at Badgemore, Silvermere and now Pyrford have propelled him to the top of the Champions Tour Money Board - Great stuff.

The Titans IOC is having an emergency meeting to decide what happens if someone wins three times on the trot. The leading suggestion is that like the World Cup the thrice time winner gets to keep it (for the next round) and play in it as well.  Could be worthwhile if McErlean makes a return and is playing in the group behind the prez - No need to duck!

Cockster reluctantly received his ugly cuddly award for shooting a mere 20pts and made Titans History by retaining the Magni’s Club. This is despite the fact that he was allowed 3 free shots with the mighty hammer. Rumour has it that he is booking a holiday in early August to avoid making it three in a row.
 
Two persons sitting not to far away on 21 pts – enjoyed their Guinness even more!!! VP was pressganged by the Prez and Captain into taking Captains Sam’s amazing read – Titans of History’ by Simon Segbag Montefiore.

Top Prizes
1st Prez 40pts
2nd Baldy Nuts (37pts)
3rd Schickmeister (36pts)
4th Moanmeister (33 pts)
5th The one and only Andre (32pts)
6th Mr Steady (32pts)
 
Mini Comp Prizes
LD 1-16 – VP of course
LD 17+ - no one
£: Ding Dong
NP2 – Baldy Nuts
NP – Captain Slam
Captains Prize – VP…drat
Guest Prise – (30pts) The other Andre

Titans Spirit
The Titans Special Achievement award for most Spiritied Person goes to Nick Bell whose ding dong bell was recently smashed, along with Nick himself, following a bicycle crash 2 days earlier. Had he beaten the Prez to the wondrous winners helmet on the last outing he would have surely been better protected in the crash. His golf may have suffered a bit but not much.  Well done Nick (or is that Bien Cuit?)

Bacon Roll
The Pyrford roll is the perfect roll says Prez - 10/10. Some thought a 9 as who knows if it could be bettered.It was excellent with three rashers of crispy bacon and a floury bun

The direction most of Sam Balls went on the 1st fairway!!
 
The purple army turned up for Slam Dunks Captains day at a seriously sunny and sizzling Silvermere. The weather was the only thing that sizzled as the top score was a mere 27pts. (and that was by someone who had a “practice round” earlier in the week!!! Must check the Titans rule book about this!!

A mixed bag of a day for Cookie or ‘Cockster’ as it appeared on his Captains Ball. A mere 3pts on the 1stnine which included a superb power (literally) drive on the 6th only to see his ball disappear into the ether as it struck the o/h power cables. His free shot then was quickly dispatched into the unforgiving fairway foliage never to be see again. A fine finish on 17th (money hole) resurrected his day before being rewarded with Magni’s club.

Me knees, Me knees, Its me knees rung out as the Prez prepared for his enthronement as Silvermere Titan Warrior. Sitting down…..Another breach of Titan protocol!

Tour Prizes
1st Prez
2nd Commander Straker
3rd Don T Locktrumpard
4th VP
5th 7 Iron
6th Captain Slam Dunk
Guest Prize – Wren
Magni’s Club - Andrew
 
Mini Comps:
LD 0-16 - VP
LD 17+ - no one
NP – Don T
NP2 – Lord Ray
£ - Andrew

Captains Prizes

Discouraged by the Titans’ lack of literary enthusiasm, Captain Slamdunk left his “interesting books” at home. Instead he provided more than the usual alcohol, plus the tankard won by Prez and some personalised balls. The balls were artistically labelled by Prez himself (see photo above) the purpose of which was to finish all 18 holes with it. It became evident, from as early as the 1st tee box that 5 Titans did not wish to play with the ‘Captains balls’ as they sprayed them OOB both Left and Right. Pete ‘7-iron’ Doherty did manage to hold on to the Captains ball until he was ‘shafted’ on the 13th. Unlucky for 7-iron.

Frank, like Mark Straker, had snuck in a practice round which may help to account for their first and second placings. Will this seriousness catch on for future Titans Summer Tour dates?”

The fearsome 17th is always a challenge but TodUSA strode to the tee without trepidation. See the video below for a fine demonstration of how to play it.  Forget that the water is there. Go through your process and all will be well:

1. Breathe deep and calm your self - settle over the ball - Check
2. Slow steady back swing on plane - Check
   
3. Pause at the top - Check
   
4. Smooth Transition to the downswing - no - sh*t - there's water to carry - slam that mother - trip, stumble, amazingly connect, and amazingly gets over!!
   

Classic Titans Golf