The rest of the world team selectors were giggling with glee as a new Titans superstar was unveiled at Dukes today. Joining the Gallacticos of Schick, Lee and Lockard will be  Chris Kershaw who caused England to shake today as he scored -4 in three holes  at Dukes. His playing partners were getting sick of shaking his hand as he birdied 5 & 6 but then he went one better with a magnificent hole in one at the tricky 7th. 

Chris at this point was swinging the club like Ernie Els but sadly on the 8th when he had again hit the green he started to putt like poor old Ernie at the Masters. Not quite the same but he did manage to putt his ball off the green to end a record making sequence. However the 10th hole was close and Chris pleased all the other mere mortals by feeding them with sparkley rejuvenating juice - before 11am in the morning!

It was a small but elite group of 11 golfers that tread the shocking fluorescent greens of Milford. Striking in colour but fair and true. It wasn't the quality of the greens that caused the Titans trouble as yet again only a few Titans made it into the thirties. 

Perhaps it was the ghosts of past Titans that upset some.  The normally imperious Pat Carr was clearly shaken by the looks that the dog in the buggy was giving him at the first tee. Was that Mad Dog Guyan coming back to unsettle him? It certainly worked as Pat misfired. The dog sniggered and advised Pat to put more weight on his right foot.  More classic Grim Reaper advice?  

And after the Shenanigans of Oak Park, Mr Phil "your pockets" Schick finally did the unthinkable - he wasn't second. And even more unthinkable- he won. On Countback! What must he have been thinking when putting on the 18th? "Do I go for redemption and glory?" Or "if I just lag this putt a little too much and then miss the next I might clinch second place and avoid a cut". 

Graham Nash was surely thinking of a win but Phil chose honour and glory and dispatched the stunned Graham  into second place. Greg was third with 29, Greg was third with 29,  "ball magnet" McIntyre fourth (28), Alan fifth (27) on countback from Keano.

The Prez's spies (all 10 of them) will undoubtedly be reporting back on the difficulty of the NP selection and predictably no Titans hit the green!  The best golfers on the Titans tour then failed to land a drive on the LD fairways but G Mac managed to secure LD for the 18+ crowd. VP Lee won NP2 and Sam hit a very good shot to win the money at the watery grave that is the 17th (Ed - Titans Talker experience coming through here!)

And what generosity and fun there was on the difficult 18th where VP Lee sponsored a Best and Worst gross score prize. The average score recorded was 7 as the macho Titans blasted away over the water. The worst gross prize was won on handicap countback with 10 shots and James was the embarrassed Titan receiving his celebratory bottle of beer called something like  "Cack Handed Porter". Sam was mighty relieved that he just missed out on that one although a 10 was nothing to smile about! However Titans honour was saved with Tod winning best gross with a stupendous birdie. The highlight of his round and possibly the only light of his round!  All Titans walked away happy with a  beer in hand. Thanks Alan

And what about the bacon butty. Tasty bacon in a relatively dry bun. Scored a solid 5. The course itself was in very good condition and scored a 7. 

Next up - the big one. Spring Super Titans at Pine Ridge.

. . . and Fay grinds her teeth as the better Gross score loses to a count back on the 9th - those 6s will kill you every time!

A windy day didn't stop some good (and some not so good!) scores. Rita and Frank made their days but it looks as if one partner was 'not amused'!

And how did Sam not win even with two birdies?

​The wind clearly was too much for most on the 9th with only one person on the green - well done Johnnie!

. . . thanks to all those wayward shots on the 1st at Dukes.

On a chilly day with wind from the North, Mako and Kam took the honours. Kam is making a habit of it on the Par 3 and there are frequently cries of 'CUT. But this week belongs to Mako who not only won at Dukes but had success last Sunday on the Ladies tour. This could become habit forming!

There were cries of an Asian Tour takeover but methinks Dukes will remain part of the European Tour.

As for the rest, well, no birdies on the day and only one Titan on the green at the 9th. After referral to to the Dukes Pros, it was confirmed (since checked with the Rules of Golf) that if any part of the ball on the green it is considered on.

Displaying amazingly similar looks to his architect ancestor Sir Edwin Lutyens and seemingly also using his ancestors golf clubs, Sir Charles Lutyens laid out his blueprint in the oak park clubhouse.

Two  itinerant  Irish Navvies (Lee and McErlean) said that they could assist him in building this grand vision and under the direction of Herr Walters they walked the course and built an epic round. Emerging from the Oak Park Amen Corner on level par Charles then had an attack of the Spieths and nearly threw it away as a series of blobs followed. 

McErlean smelt blood and quietly changed from faithful supporting servant to stealthy assassin. Greg has always been known for hitting a long ball but has never been known to hit a fairway. So imagine every ones surprise when he smashed his ball 360 yards to set up an 8 iron approach to the par 5 16th (and winning LD). Victory was in his hands and the shot landed pin high but on the wrong side of the bunker. Normal Greg play then resumed with a thinned wedge across the green followed by a duffed chip for a 6. He had blown it again and ended up third.

But the real story of the day was the "performance" of the Schickster. In the last Titans Talker blog these prescient words were used - "in second place was cunning Sam Dunkley who has been coached in the fine arts of handicap protection by the expert at this - Phil Schick". And so today the master came out to play. Phil was on the 18th in two and sensing victory at a major. For all other Titans this would be a thrilling moment but for the Schickster this was a moment of terror. "I MIGHT GET CUT" he screamed internally. And so this normally immaculate putter yet again turned a winning moment into a beautiful money grabbing handicap saving 2nd place with a three putt. You have been rumbled- beware the handicap scythe!

No Titans won long drive 19+ and no Titans managed to win the money hole! Greg got nearest the pin and Phil "your pocket" Schick also picked up some handicap risk free money by securing NP2.  

Rumour mill -  IOC considering a Phil tax - A post match gathering of the IOC was seen in heated discussion at Oak Park. Tellingly Phil Schick was not included in the discussions signalling an imminent changes in rules?  We expect an introduction of handicap cuts to 2nd places. You heard it here first. 

Prez Walters and VP Lee's repeated spats over NP2 hole selection were also threatening party unity and so peacemaker Lee reached out to our beloved leader Frank "Jong" Walters and created a Prez only competition on the shortest hole on the course (145 yard 3rd). The long drive prize was missed as Prez missed the fairway. The NP prize was dropped as Prez also missed the Green. And yes - he also missed the NP2 prize by driving into the Greenside ditch.  Recapture the glory of Prez's tee shot in this Super slow-mo video.

However he did manage to pick up a generous booby prize which led to scary scenes at the post match awards giving where Prez had to be restrained as he feared the reappearance of the banished "Old Coot". Normal behaviour was returned by the introduction of drip fed Gin.

The Oak Park bacon roll was certainly an improvement on the Wycombe Heights offering. This time the bacon was well cooked and not too fatty, however Will managed to find said fat, he's obviously trying to protect his svelte figure.
Sir Lutyens commented that the "bap was rather sweet, far too much sugar!" he exclaimed.
But they were freshly prepared 2 at a time, so with marks for effort we give this a  6/10

 . . . Dave takes the biscuit with his 'post roll' bag!

It was a gorgeous day at Dukes (how does that explain why only one person managed a birdie - something to do with the quality of the golf being in inverse proportion to the quality of the weather - work that one out if you can!

Take nothing away from the winners who both played excellent golf to get around in 39 and 32 Gross.

We finally had it confirmed that Pat Carr is human after all - a score of 40 and money to the RNLI!

Chris was welcomed back after his flight to/from Ozland but struggled a bit with the unaccustomed weight on his left hand (a wedding ring). Jenny Paxman returned after her winter absence and promptly scored a Best Gross - methinks a potential challenger to the battling Fay and Rita.

But the 'biscuit' definitely went to Dave Keane for his magnificent lightweight bag made from a cardboard tube courtesy of his sponsors - the Irish Mail - and plenty of 'gaffer tape'!