. . . on a glorious morning for golf. Fay consolidated her position at the top of the Ladies leaderboard and Alan shot up the rankings with an incredible NP2 (no more than 2" from the cup) and the win on the day.

Rita came a gallant second but it was not enough to challenge Fay's commanding lead on the Ladies' Winter Par 3.

Fay's NP2 on the 6th was enough to put her in first place with Nina on the Ladies' NP board for the season.

For the Men, Charles was the runaway winner of the Winter NP prize. Our revered captain, hamstrung Sam, retained the lead to take first place. Charles (2nd placed) swears that he is going to give the prize to Sam - 'sometime'.

Frank, THE PREZ, Walters generously handed out the Winter Par 3 winners prizes:

In a week that saw the Irish dominate at Cheltenham and destroy English rugby dreams in Dublin lt was obvious that everyone was channeling their inner green in an attempt to pick up the money at Wycombe Heights. And the Irish won all of the major prizes!

Irish winners everywhere:
1st Mona Deacon - 32 points -
2nd. Aindriú O'Coke - 30 points
3rd. Alan Lee (nothing plastic about him). - 29 PINTS - Co Antrim
4th Cathal Lutyens - 27 points
5th President Frances Ualtar - 27 points
6th Philomina McSchick - 27 points
​7th - Taidgh O'Lockard
8th - Peter Docherty (Co Donegal)

Old Coot special mention and Long Drive 19+ Greg McErlean (Co Derry)
Long Drive 1-18. Alan Lee
NP2 - Taidgh O'Lockard

An honourable mention for the one Non Irish person to turn up. Proud Englishman Graham Nash battled hard for 5 holes before succumbing to a Guinness breath overload.

It was also a match that was notable for Forgetfulness as:

• Martin Wyn Griffith forgot to return the trophy
• Prez forgot the golf ball prizes
• Mona forgot that the Titans Scratch Score might be used against him as he landed outside the buffer zone - "Buffer my A!*#" was heard ringing around the hills and hundred of disturbed red kites decided to opt for early Brexit to get out of the way of the Moanmeister. He is definitely back!
• An unnamed Irish man forgot his swing

The Prez won the money hole and Andrew won the 6th hole sponsored by missing injured Captain Sam Dunkley who was apparently seen in golf rehab with Tiger Woods recently - No date is set for his return to the tour but already we are seeing declining audiences. Come back Sam!

And Finally - It was blowing a gale at the easy short par 3 6th and no-one got onto the green. Who was to blame?  Well of course the under -pressure President (POTI not POTUS) was sure to blame Vice President (VPOTI not VPOTUS) for failing to take into consideration the weather forecast when selecting the prize holes!

And Finally finally  -Bringing home the bacon.

We were greeted at Wycombe Heights by Veteran Titan John Velazquez del Rodriguez followed by a bulging platter of baps du Bacon. A little fatty perhaps, something Will would be offended by yet relished by Charles! A soft warm bap gives this pre freak fortifier a 7/10


Another happy happy Sunday with the Titan!

. . . It's not often there's a first on the Par 3 but this Saturday saw their Donald outdone by our Prez with an outright win.

Not to be outdone Mrs Prez trumped the Ladies as well. No wonder they're both grinning from ear to ear.

(Your Titans Talker understands that Mrs Prez was straight off to get the hair cut to ensure everyone could judge how wide the grin was).

The question now is whether that other President will take up the challenge and throw down the gauntlet to our President and come to play on a real course (Dukes Meadows that is) rather than messing around at his other places; Aberdeen, Doonbeg, Los Angeles, Miami, Turnberry . . .

Ex Cap Lock-Trumpard is obviously released from the stresses and strains of that most exalted position in golf (eat your heart out McGinley) as he carded a very impressive 31 points at a hilly, windy and wet Harleyford. This follows on from his poor 2016 form which was impacted by too much award ceremony glad handing which obviously had upset his right hand position on his club ( oh err!). 

Also making a welcome return was another ex captain Andre McLaughlin who has been living an itinerant lifestyle lately as he builds South Fork in Worcester Park. He carded 29 points just losing out on 3rd place to el presidente on countback. Look out to Prez's account of his stunning performance on the launch of his new Twitter Account (@POTI - President of the Titans International).  #megalomania

And in second place was another Titans superstar on a comeback tour. Is he the best Titan never to have a sexy Titans moniker? - never VP, never P, never Captain - but always the eternal Moanmeister so stop yer moaning!

And what's this - The Doc came fifth continuing his impressive golf development. The bookies are burning the midnight oil revising their odds  on Pete to be Titans champion - in 2024. 

And what of sixth place for the peerless Paul Tennant? Had he not picked up his ball on a couple of holes when exhausted battling the winds and hills he might have finished- 6th!

Yes - possibly the lowest score ever to pick up £100k. Still he did beat many Titans ex-greats (Lee, Dunkley, Schick) and one "will never be great" (McErlean) who again showed off his fantastic ability to fail.