On a beautiful day in the mountains of Wycombe, a lonely plaintive Scottish refrain was heard drifting across the valleys. The red kites circled overhead in tribute to this heart rending tale of sorrow.
"Oh my handicap is too low, too low.
My handicap is too low"
Tears were dropping from the eyes of those vulturist birds and many a Titans eyes were also "greeting" (Scottish for pi$$ing down)!
And it was with slumped shoulders that poor hard done by James McIntyre (McIntyre translates from the Gallic as "son of the scratch golfer" ) set off on his voyage of discovery. Finding plentiful pars out on the course, poor James arrived at the 18th having gathered 35pts to win from Paul Tennant in second place (34 pts).
Only the fact that he is a fine generous person and an excellent past captain will save him from a media savaging. And the further 1 shot cut will appease his fellow Titans who wasted precious tears on the first tee. But in scenes reminiscent of Caddyshack, the red kites were tougher to appease as at his moment of glory as they swooped to take him away for a good seeing to.
"Oh my handicap is too low, too low.
My handicap is too low"
Tears were dropping from the eyes of those vulturist birds and many a Titans eyes were also "greeting" (Scottish for pi$$ing down)!
And it was with slumped shoulders that poor hard done by James McIntyre (McIntyre translates from the Gallic as "son of the scratch golfer" ) set off on his voyage of discovery. Finding plentiful pars out on the course, poor James arrived at the 18th having gathered 35pts to win from Paul Tennant in second place (34 pts).
Only the fact that he is a fine generous person and an excellent past captain will save him from a media savaging. And the further 1 shot cut will appease his fellow Titans who wasted precious tears on the first tee. But in scenes reminiscent of Caddyshack, the red kites were tougher to appease as at his moment of glory as they swooped to take him away for a good seeing to.
David Keane gets his priorities right.
David Keane’s precious 7 wood was saved but all that is left of poor Jamesy were a few shitty pellets with flecks of bone, purple and tartan strewn over the scene of his last triumph. In Chrissie Hynde’s famous words “its time for you to stop all of your sobbing”. A memorial service will be held once John Rodrigues has picked up enough of poor Jamesy to fill an ash tray. In the meantime let’s remember James in this last ever photo of him!
David Keane was third with 31pts on countback from the Prez. David – never incur the displeasure of the Prez by doing this. If in doubt – blob the last hole. Alan was 5th with 30 pts and Sam 6th with 29pts.
Spare a thought also for the poor scorer who shall remain nameless. Slaving over the Titans scoring super-computer, the scorer was approached by Phil Schick who said “I have had my worst score ever, I must be easily last.” Imagine what Phil must have felt like when the scorer said “In your dreams son – I had 4 points less than that.” The Schikster felt cheated – He is very used to missing out on top position by one, but he even misses out on bottom position by one as well!
Captain Tod is showing a return to form as he won NP and the money hole, Alan and David won the long drive prizes, Paul won the NP2 and who won the VP sponsored NP2 on the 18th? VP of course, continuing a fine tradition of winning his own prizes – Give the rest of us a chance!
And finally in the Titans campaign to improve the quality of Britain's golfing bacon butties, Wycombe Heights were decidedly average - scoring 5. However the course was in very good condition with super fast greens – 7.
Spare a thought also for the poor scorer who shall remain nameless. Slaving over the Titans scoring super-computer, the scorer was approached by Phil Schick who said “I have had my worst score ever, I must be easily last.” Imagine what Phil must have felt like when the scorer said “In your dreams son – I had 4 points less than that.” The Schikster felt cheated – He is very used to missing out on top position by one, but he even misses out on bottom position by one as well!
Captain Tod is showing a return to form as he won NP and the money hole, Alan and David won the long drive prizes, Paul won the NP2 and who won the VP sponsored NP2 on the 18th? VP of course, continuing a fine tradition of winning his own prizes – Give the rest of us a chance!
And finally in the Titans campaign to improve the quality of Britain's golfing bacon butties, Wycombe Heights were decidedly average - scoring 5. However the course was in very good condition with super fast greens – 7.
The decidedly average Wycombe bacon bap.
PS – apologies for the late delivery of this report. The TitansTalker had to secure permission to publish from the family of the late great Jamesy. Or was it that the TitansTalker was suffering from PGTS (Post Golf Tragedy Syndrome) - not the demise of the ex-Captain but rather the complete loss of the few golfing skills the TitansTalker once had.
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