Bring Home The Bacon

A few words from our beloved Prez...

The good people of Silvermere presented the Titans with the ultimate CBR.
Crisp bacon with the inclusion of what looks like Cumberland on a lightly toasted brioche bun with butter.
This will take some beating on the tour, It has to be a 10/10

After many years of tirelessly organising the Par Three Tournament, Phil Schick has passed on the baton to Jay Shah.

The Prez presented Phil with a few tokens of our thanks, which Rita graciously organised. Somehow Prez is missing from the picture, but Ally made it in. Go figure.

The Prez shares what will hopefully be the first bacon roll of many for 2021! Bacon nice and crispy, but no score given.

The Prez (that’s the fake Prez and not the real Prez) on hearing the news of an American victory in England tweeted that he would bestow a Congressional Medal of Honor upon the winner of the 2019 Mens Titans Tour - Tod Obama Lockard III. In a separate announcement he said that threats of sanctions against the Titans IOC had been withdrawn. A source close to fake Prez also revealed that the long standing investigation into allegedly inappropriate payments from the proposed inaugural leader of Titans Invitational USA  Barrack Obama and the alleged “Real Prez” in England had also been suspended.

This has created uproar amongst the purple hordes on multiple levels:

• the Titans Finance Director has tweeted that he had been promised a 30% share of the alleged $1m fee from the Ex Prez but had only received 300,000 Titans $ 
• The IOC Money Board Director has been under pressure from everyone (except Tod) to justify how Tod had catapulted to the top of the leaderboard in the last 4 games. He rightly points out that Tod won 3 of the last 4 events.
• Rumours are also spreading of payments between the 2019 Champion and the Ex-Prez. Did Ex-Prez try to channel funds to Tod for Tod to share with other title contenders? Was this a bid to get the 2019 Champ into a power position within the Titans to ease the ex-Prez into the prestigious Titans USA position?
• Did fake prez threaten the IOC into letting an American win?
• Did fake prez really try to buy the spiritual home of the Titans - Tramp Pine Ridge?
• American media source are also releasing images which have been recently found in Dallas which allegedly show VP on a grassy knoll. 
• Rumours of the involvement of the DUP in this controversy are being denied. A spokesperson for the “Don’t Upset the Prez” organisation have vehemently denied this.

Bet you thought that Brexit was explosive and confusing.  The IOC’s global ambitions are in tatters.

So congratulations to Tod on his magnificent victory but big congratulations also to Kishore who picked up his first tour victory with a fine score of 36pts four points ahead of Gary. Three players shared 30pts with James picking up the. 3rd spot, Tod 4th and Paul 5th.

It was the final day of the Ladies tour as well and Megan coped magnificently with the difficult playing conditions to shoot an amazing 37 points - 11 points ahead of 2nd place Rita. Fay just pipped Annabelle to 3rd place on count back. 

The winner of the ladies tour for 2019 was Kinga who  unfortunately was unable to be there to receive the plaudits. 

It has been a great seasons golf and already we are looking forward to the 2020 season.  The Prez in his State of the Union address thanked everyone for their contributions through the year and in particular to those that put their time into organising the two tours. 

After the high scoring of last week it was back to normal at Wycombe Heights. But let's be kind and blame the low scoring on the lightening fast greens. Pitch on them and you were well over the back. Many six foot puts went 20 feet past.

But It was the start of the NFL season this weekend which obviously inspired the American in the field as he blitzed the rest of the field and won two minor prizes as well (LD & NP) - Congratulations Tod on your big win (30pts) which moves you from 5th to 2nd in the Champions tour listings only $235,000 behind Tour Leader Ben. 

Two other challengers for the Title also won big wads of cash - Keith the Elder got 2nd place with 29pts, and Tour leader Ben was 3rd with 27 pts.

Andre made a welcome return to the fold and impressively was 5th and picked up the NP2 prize.

Jerry English won the guest prize by handsomely beating off all his rivals (Ed- What rivals?​)

An early morning furlough by Mrs President allowed Prez to play - golf that is. Although perhaps Prez should have stayed in bed as he picked up Magni snatching it from the jaws of victory on the 18th from Phil. Frank hit his approach over the green. At this point Phil was within 30 yards of being on the green in one. Frank duffed his pitch return and Phil pitched to within 20 feet. Frank pitched well past the hole. Phil putted to within 3 feet. Frank blobbed the hole (as he did the last 4 holes!!!!). And generously Graham gave Phil his putt giving him a vital 2 points. Frank fumed but too late - Phil had beaten him by one. They will be talking about that one in the pubs of Chiswick for years to come.

Pine Ridge played host to one of the flagship Titans events and there was a large turnout on this beautifully sunny first day of Autumn. And the full pomp and ceremony of the Titan state was deployed with flag-wavers at the awards ceremony, flags streaming from buggies and of a horde of course purple clad athletes traversing the fairways (and forest trails).

And those athletes did not disappoint with the ladies being threatened with heavy handicap cuts with many scoring over 36pts. It was a record turnout at this event for the ladies and on any normal day Kinga and Megans scores of 39pts would have won but they were edged out by Rita's magnificent 41pts. She had a back 9 score of 23pts!  I fear for her 28 handicap.

Annabelle won LD, Rita won NP and Mako won NP2.  

In the mens competition five players scored 36pts or over and Ben surely must have thought that he had a good chance when he eagled 18 to post a score of 37 points which pushed out those who had scored 36 (Prez, Paul T and Keith E). But 2019 has also been a great year for Captain Will and he shot a level par back 9 to win on 39 points.  A truly great set of performances from these two single figure Titans stars. And what a great year for Ben who started the year with a 14 handicap and is currently top of the Champions Tour leaderboard, playing off a 6 handicap and is still improving. Most improved player seems to be a bit of a no brainer!

In the minor prizes it was the McErlean show as he picked up NP, NP2, and LD (>16) prizes.  If he had started playing well at the 1st hole rather than the 9th hole then he might have been the first winner of the notoriously difficult to win "Vidar's treasure" but this is GMc2 we are talking about and not fellow countryman GMc (Graham McDowell).  Tod hit a stormer to win LD(<16) and Keith E won the money hole.

In his final game as a guest Tim won the guest prize with an impressive 33 points.

SPECIAL MENTIONS

• To returning Titans legends Michael (aka Grim Reaper) and Ally 
• To Kevin G who travelled all the way from Norfolk to win that much cherished prize - Magni
• To the Weather God David Ospalla who laid on the fine weather but who also managed to play one of his best rounds in years
• To Jag Jeer who provided the special dental prize at the the 3rd hole. Kinga won a wonderful sonic screwdriver - no sorry - toothbrush.
• To Pat Carr who congratulated Rita on her victory within minutes of it being announced. Whats special about that?  Pat is thousands of miles away. The Titans IOC have launched an inquiry about whether  their much vaunted impregnable phone systems have been compromised and that people are watching proceedings for free on the internet thus damaging chances to secure a lucrative TV deal.